Step 2 – Assess its effect on other loved ones

Does their drug problem affect you or others?

It is important to recognize when you are being affected by someone else’s drug use. The following questions will help you determine if you are affected by someone’s use of drugs:

• Do you worry about how much someone uses drugs?
• Do you have money problems because of someone’s drug use?
• Do you lie to cover up for someone’s drug use?
• Do you feel that if the drug user loved you enough he or she would stop using?
• Do you threaten to leave or hurt yourself in order to scare the person into quitting?
• Have you been embarrassed or hurt by a drug user?

If you answer “yes” to any of these questions then you are being affected by someone else’s drug use.

How family/children are affected

When one member of a family is abusing drugs, all members of the family are affected. All family members, including the children, learn to adapt to meet the needs of the using parent. Family members must often assume responsibilities of the drug abuser to keep the family going, while the drug abuser becomes less involved in the family. Family members can quickly fall into the trap of making it easier for the person to continue using. This trap includes covering up for the drug abuser’s behavior, such as lying to other family members or the boss.

As a person’s drug problem progresses, using becomes more important than family commitments. Children learn that they can’t rely on their parents to follow through with promises. Some of these children will develop problems such as academic or social difficulties, depression or personality problems. Some of these children will grow up and develop substance abuse problems of their own.